With The TV On

I have often wondered what having bipolar disorder is like. Grieving I am beginning to believe has to be a lot like that, with variations of mood that come and go like the wind. Without much warning a good day can become a sad time or listening to music can dissolve into a "pity party". These "cycles" are temporary, however they effect whatever I am engaged in. Funny we are taught in graduate school, for therapists, that there are stages of grief, predictable, you know. I am finding when one isn't the counselor, like most intense feelings in life...grief is messy and not so organized at all.

The most difficult times are the weekends when my friends "couple up" for various activities and functions. They may kindly send an invite but typically I do not want that "3rd wheel" feeling of tagging along. Bedtime can be tough too...no matter how I try to wear myself out...I find myself all too aware that I am in that king size bed alone, with the TV on, as I no longer have the soft snoring sounds coming from the other side.

I am told to be gentle with myself through these times and I try to be. I find if I am too understanding I can become "stuck" in memories and not move forward with my day. Identifying my grief" triggers" is my goal these days, so that I do not dissolve into sadness in the middle of a holiday event or a time out with friends. Not surprisingly it is easier to be the counselor, than the client.

Jodi H. Underhill MEd. LMHC Licensed Mental Health Counselor License #MH9166 Phone: 386.747.7148 http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/61944

The Blues of the Season

Does the beginning of the holiday season bring dread into your heart? As you
go into the stores and see the decorations going up does it bring tears
to your eyes, rather than a twinkle & a smile?

Many people suffer from seasonal depression, particularly now, between
November-January. For some it is the memories of better days, while
for others the solitary hours that are their daily lives. Still many will tell you
this time of the year has always made them "blue".

The temptation will be there to try to cheer these suffering folks up or get them into the "holiday spirit". Without trying to motivate them, go and be with them instead. When much of the world is in a celebratory mood, you may not understand. But give them an opportunity to tell you their "story". For someone who is surrounded by "blue" instead of the traditional red, brown & gold of this holiday season just being there & hearing them is an incredible, caring gift.




Jodi H. Underhill MEd. LMHC Licensed Mental Health Counselor & Certified K-12 Guidance Counselor License #MH9166 Phone: 386.747.7148 Fax: 407.264.8289