Fearing Forward

                    As I recovered for weeks from injuries sustained from
       falling off my horse...I could not wait to get back to my mare and out
       on the trails with my friends. It was practically all I could imagine...
       mounting "Chloe", my beautiful Tennessee Walker and  riding off. I hired
       a trainer to work with her gaits, so I could watch, while I healed...hoping
       to keep myself engaged. 
                    Finally the magical day came and my surgeon cleared me.
      I scheduled a trail ride with good friends...and off we went. It felt so wonderful,
      to be moving through the woods on Chloe's back again. She was good and behaved
      as I had expected. It almost felt "normal" again!
                  Then however near the end of the ride Chloe suddenly wouldn't stop,
      in fact, she didn't listen to my hands or my legs...began to whirl, as she had the day I fell. I 
      started to become really scared! The asphalt was right next to the trail we were on and my
      friends had moved out ahead. It was between myself and my FEAR in the form of my
      formally "dead with a heartbeat"horse. I had only been here once in my life, weeks before

      ...and I ended up hurt on the ground.

                  I had to make myself forget the hard surface I really wanted
     to avoid and concentrate on Chloe as she was in that moment, that day, not the horse
     I had known. We were able to straighten out and catch up with our friends...trying to breath
     deeply knowing all the while things had changed. The "normal"
     I had felt no longer existed...the training had worked...she was energized, wanting
     to move out with the others...while I was more timid than ever. 
                   That experience on the trail is there to remind me daily in my new life, without
     my best friend  and late husband, Bill.  The path of my life is clearly changing.
     My heart has responded to the training of the grief and has become energized wanting
     to move forward, while timid and clumsy to new friendships and experiences.
     Obstacles are presenting themselves as they did with Chloe...but this is
     my life today, and I have to learn to navigate it.I remind myself to breathe deeply and deal with 
     the fear so I can catch up with my "new normal".
     


     



























Jodi H. Underhill MEd. LMHC Licensed Mental Health Counselor License #MH9166 Phone: 386.747.7148 http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/61944

They Still Stand

Spring has come early this year. Experiencing a cold
winter of loss & darkness,  it could not have come too soon. Strong winds
blow the remnants of the dark season away, to be replaced with early blooms and
promise of brighter days.

My husband and I turn on the water to encourage the flowers & grass
to grow. The progress might be slower this year as the older trees possess
less strength. Those once tall wooden towers worn
down by time and disease... but like every spring while they
still stand ...there is hope renewed.






Jodi H. Underhill MEd. LMHC Licensed Mental Health Counselor
 License #MH9166 Phone: 386.747.7148

Can I Love Too Much?

"Women Who Love Too Much" is one of my favorite books. I use it with clients constantly and I have led book studies on it as well. The other day I had someone ask me... can I really love too much?

If it interferes with your life and another's life, I say a resounding..."Yes!". That is how you will know...if what you are doing is keeping you from reaching your full potential or preventing someone close to you from growing or growing up...then you are loving TOO much!



Jodi H. Underhill MEd. LMHC
Licensed Mental Health Counselor
License #MH9166
Phone: 386.747.714
www.junderhilltherapy.com