Magic of New Beginnings

Studies show it will take at least three years of grieving in order to begin again. I feel it takes even more time and is very individualized. As long as one isn't hurting themselves or others ... there isn't a reason to know how long emotions connected with losing a loved one may last. One honestly doesn't need to deal with expectations of the number of days.

It is common knowledge that grief comes in stages...if only it were that simple, so
cut and dried. It comes in waves and whispers...at times so obvious and others
quite obscure. It can limit you, yet at the other times protect you from the expectations of
those around you....long enough for you to find yourself again.

One day the grip begins to loosen ... new chances, new relationships and new ways to live start to blossom.. all paramount in navigating tomorrows' paths. Some will become part of you, others will fall away...but all are intriguing and motivating you to move forward in your life journey carrying your loved ones who have gone ahead in your heart to brighten your days.


















Jodi H. Underhill MEd. LMHC Licensed Mental Health Counselor License #MH9166 Phone: 386.747.7148 http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/61944

Fearing Forward

                    As I recovered for weeks from injuries sustained from
       falling off my horse...I could not wait to get back to my mare and out
       on the trails with my friends. It was practically all I could imagine...
       mounting "Chloe", my beautiful Tennessee Walker and  riding off. I hired
       a trainer to work with her gaits, so I could watch, while I healed...hoping
       to keep myself engaged. 
                    Finally the magical day came and my surgeon cleared me.
      I scheduled a trail ride with good friends...and off we went. It felt so wonderful,
      to be moving through the woods on Chloe's back again. She was good and behaved
      as I had expected. It almost felt "normal" again!
                  Then however near the end of the ride Chloe suddenly wouldn't stop,
      in fact, she didn't listen to my hands or my legs...began to whirl, as she had the day I fell. I 
      started to become really scared! The asphalt was right next to the trail we were on and my
      friends had moved out ahead. It was between myself and my FEAR in the form of my
      formally "dead with a heartbeat"horse. I had only been here once in my life, weeks before

      ...and I ended up hurt on the ground.

                  I had to make myself forget the hard surface I really wanted
     to avoid and concentrate on Chloe as she was in that moment, that day, not the horse
     I had known. We were able to straighten out and catch up with our friends...trying to breath
     deeply knowing all the while things had changed. The "normal"
     I had felt no longer existed...the training had worked...she was energized, wanting
     to move out with the others...while I was more timid than ever. 
                   That experience on the trail is there to remind me daily in my new life, without
     my best friend  and late husband, Bill.  The path of my life is clearly changing.
     My heart has responded to the training of the grief and has become energized wanting
     to move forward, while timid and clumsy to new friendships and experiences.
     Obstacles are presenting themselves as they did with Chloe...but this is
     my life today, and I have to learn to navigate it.I remind myself to breathe deeply and deal with 
     the fear so I can catch up with my "new normal".
     


     



























Jodi H. Underhill MEd. LMHC Licensed Mental Health Counselor License #MH9166 Phone: 386.747.7148 http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/61944