"We must let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us
- Joseph Campbell."
Parents of children with special needs come to my office with a great deal of grief...sadness and
anger buried over the plans they had for their child that never was. So often
a Mom or Dad just can't get past the fact this child is who & what they are, instead of all the
parent had hoped & dreamed their child might be. If we are unable to work past this in
therapy both the child and the parents miss out on what their life is & can
be every day that they have together. I heard a parent advocate say once and
I am paraphrasing..."these families miss out on the trip they can take to Japan, because
the parents keep grieving over their lost trip to France."
Due to the economic downturn of the last several years, many retirees feel the same way.Those
who come to my office are lamenting the loss of the retirement they have so carefully planned
perhaps for 30 years. They may have to continue to work or are stuck in the family home that
is no longer worth close to what it once was. As the days go by, life goes on,
but these folks miss out sadly holding onto their past dreams instead.
When my hubby was first diagnosed with MM, we thought the " new normal" wouldn't be so
tough....and life went on. Then with pneumonia, (several), hospitalizations and a last minute
spleen removal, our life that was "waiting for us" kept changing. It has gotten even more
restrictive as far as plans go, my work, travel and even time with family now, as Bill catches
infections very, very easily. But he isn't in much pain and we know how lucky he is to have
MM and not have weak, aching bones every day. He is here and we are together still in this life.
I have little doubt our friends may be wagering at this point as to whether we will
show up to any planned event! Family too! But oh when we do...what a wonderful
time we have! We "take the little times and make them big times..and
"save the times that are alright, for the ones that aren't so good" ( R. McKuen, The Sea ).
Jodi H. Underhill MEd. LMHC Licensed Mental Health Counselor License #MH9166 Phone: 386.747.7148
https://jodihunderhilllmhc.secure-client-area.com/portal/index/default/
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