Parent Action Instead of Reaction?

School is starting...so much excitement, along with new blank pages of paper, packs of pens & pencils, new electronics...all the trappings of a new school year!
Parents feel they are arming their children with everything they will need for
a successful school year. Even if they had a tough year previously... Mom and Dad
are feeling this is the year it will all turn around for their students!

I asked a mom of a child with earning issues the other day if she had already contacted the school? Had she scheduled a conference prior to school beginning to make a plan to assist her daughter in improving her performance and lowering her own anxiety & the stress from the previous year. She said she usually waits until the first progress report or report card before I start to " panic". So I asked her "You are choosing then to react rather than act and make a plan to help your child and you from having academic and/or social issues at school?" "I guess so."
she said. Before the end of the session she was asking how to make a
learning plan for her child for the upcoming school year.

If her child had a documented learning issue...which she did, what had been keeping her from working with the school or making a 504 plan for her child? The issues her child has do get in the way of her ability to learn at a "normal" rate. But this mom
was concerned about upsetting the teachers...even though she and her daughter had
spent the last two school years stressed out...affecting not only her daughter at school, but family life and the Mom's marriage. She didn't want to look like a problem parent at school. But after challenging that idea Mom admitted that she really didn't want to admit that her daughter might not become the doctor or lawyer she had dreamed of when she was born...not matter how hard Mom is pushing her o make it happen.

Why react, when you can act? We as parents are willing to spend a small fortune on
getting our children physical school supplies. Why not give our child a plan?
All it will really cost us is our time. Are we really more concerned about upsetting our chidlren's teachers...and willing to set our student up to fail or stress out trying to keep up with work when they have a true disability? We would rather them struggle than admit they have a learning concern not only to the school...but to ourselvies? We would rather go back to school ourselves...working with our student for hours each night, or worse yet, doing the work for them...than to help them learn to cope with their learning issues and move forward with their education? Some parents enjoy the drama...but I suspect most just don't know how
to take the first step in order to make an educaitonal plan for their children.


Jodi H. Underhill MEd. LMHC
Licensed Mental Health Counselor & Certified K-12 Guidance Counselor
License #MH9166
Phone: 386.747.7148 Fax: 407.264.8289
www.junderhilltherapy.com