Divided Families, Divided Child?

Constantly working with families who are not together usually due to divorce, I find there is always in the middle a child or children who only want to love both parents, in addition to the grandparents, aunts, etc. on either side. An there is the tough "nut"...the family "sides", both feeling they know what is best....even perhaps trying to alieninate the other parent by telling the child negatives about them, making thinly veiled threats or manipulating children to the point of emotional abuse.
What is even more upsetting is they do this absolutely certain that they are right and it is in the best interest of their child...or do the just want to win or be right?

What rich lives children could have if coparenting could be
actually done in the truest sense. The adults might put their
"weapons" away to work & even play together for the child's sake. How excited a boy or girl would be to look over while playing their basketball game to see his family members in the crowd, (not neccesarily together)..or hear grandparents calling each other to see if the others would like to come along on a special outing to enrich it for the child or children they all love so much.

But instead of these positive efforts, they threaten the parental rights of the other parent.... try to demonstrate how awful they may be or how attached the child/children are to them by at times purposely manipulating demonstrations of the child's
loyalty at the cost of his or her emotional wellbeing. These kids have enough divided "issues" without their very soul
being torn up any further.





Jodi H. Underhill MEd. LMHC Licensed Mental Health Counselor & Certified K-12 Guidance Counselor License #MH9166 Phone: 386.747.7148 Fax: 386.837.4311