How do people look into your tearful eyes and
lie? I own a t shirt from one of my favorite television
shows, "House" that says "Everybody Lies"....(ironically
fund raiser for mental health). But.....doesn't
it matter when people lie, how they lie and how often
they lie? Or does it?
Clients lie to me all the time...to make themselves look
like more than they really are...a better father, a more
complete professional or a "bad" teenager. Think how early
little kids learn to lie....saying "I didn't do it" as you catch them
with their hand in the cookie jar. Bill Cosby in his famous
comedy routine "Fatherhood" talks about this....and the
brain damage he feels we as parents must have to
place ourselves in the position of trying to raise children. How do we tell our children not to lie while we lie to them and about them practically every day?
If you ask some one's weight, or age, you can find out quickly
the boundaries of an individuals lying capacity and their
skill at misrepresenting the truth. Is it really is a skill....to be able to look someone in the eye and manipulate the truth while telling them
at the same time how honest you are? Pathologicial lying is seen as a mental illness concern in individuals. So when does it become pathological? Or because we do value this "talent" does that mean over time we find lying becomes normal and accepted as a value we want to pass onto our kids?
Jodi H. Underhill MEd. LMHC
Licensed Mental Health Counselor &
Certified K-12 Guidance Counselor
License #MH9166
Phone: 386.747.7148
Fax: 407.264.8289
www.junderhilltherapy.com
DeLand, Florida Counseling Office and Sunshine State Online Therapy/Coaching/Consultation/Advocacy
1 comment:
I'm not proud of the fact that I used to lie all of the time. It was like turning on a faucet. It was as easy to turn off. I rationalize that if it wasn't hurting anyone that it was ok. It was hurting me. Just last year, after a lifetime of living this way I decided that enough was enough.
As easy as it is to revert, generally, these days I tell the truth no matter what. I feel so much better about myself and as a bonus I don't have to keep track of the lies.
Personally, I don't think it is taught although one could argue that it is cultural. It may be cultural in certain cases but I believe it is a natural way to get attention that is learned by babies even before they can speak.
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